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п»їExpectations in the sex: 6 keys so that they do not ruin your relation
What you expect from your partner is a habitual enemy in any relationship. Today we give you a few keys to not let expectations ruin everything.
Before many areas of our lives we have expectations about how we would like things to go, the right thing, what would be best for us or what we expect from others or a situation, but we do not always know how to manage that the expectation is not controllable or realistic and it may not be adapted to what happens, it is not our responsibility that everything would have gone just as it painted that marked expectation. You may expect idyllic relationships like those in the movies, but you must remember that movie kisses are that, in the movie ...
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As in many areas, personal, work, sentimental, sex is one of the areas in which we have the bad habit of waiting for things to come out in a certain way, either because of the sometimes right or sometimes wrong idea that we become the other person, or because we are simply letting fly what we would like to happen without taking into account nor the conditions, the other person or the very moment in which each of us are.
Aspects such as lack of complicity or trust, having a bad day, a time of fatigue or stress, not spending the right time or not being focused on the moment can make the expectations of that sexual encounter be frustrated and that will entail very different sensations from the distance, despair, anger, overturning that anger with the other person or simply a fall of the mood for not having happened what was expected.
As if in any other area, there are several clear guidelines that we should take into account to try to avoid that a frustrated expectation in a sexual relationship affects an anger with that person or a problem that becomes a greater distance to save. Some of them are the following ...
1. Adapt to the other Try to adapt to what we are knowing about the other person and think about their way of acting, thinking or talking, not staying with what we want to happen but observing what the other person is showing us about their behavior and attitude, probably in sex apply your personality as in the rest of areas of your life, do not expect it to be someone else. That yes, you can always start from what you know and improve together, learning to enjoy each other and innovating every day.
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2. Do not compareAvoiding basing an expectation on the inevitable comparison with other people, obviously we are evolving in everything thanks to the experiences we are living but that does not mean that we have to anchor to what we have lived before, we must give way to new experiences and to be receptive with what comes.
3. Talk to your partner Be communicative, in this area with much more reason than in any other, the other person does not have to know our tastes and vice versa, we can tell you how to do certain things or let him discover it, but never get angry because he is not being I guess about what we expected, talking about it is always easier.
4. Do not be afraid to ask Do not rely on reading the minds of others believing that we know what they want or what they are thinking, we must ask, talk, ask, talk, but that expectation that we have to go fueling alone and frustration If things do not go as we thought, it will be greater.
5. Do not throw in the towel before time Do not anticipate or throw in the towel before the first detail that we see that does not fit what we thought would happen, when the first relationships with someone have to leave, with the help of communication and tolerance, that the other person finds comfort and that we ourselves look for our most appropriate way of acting, if we continuously measure what we do or what the other does, something as instinctive as a sexual relationship will become a set of steps in the that nothing is enjoyed and that everything frustrates us.
6. Realistically, as in any area where we have an expectation, we must be realistic, adapt to the moment and the person with whom we interact, not based on our closed idea of ​​things and let ourselves be surprised by others It may be more satisfying than staying with our schematic way of doing it all.
Article prepared in collaboration with the psychologist, sexologist, graphologist, calligraphic and judicial expert Ana Perales. (www.apmpsicopericial.com)
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